


Hidden Feelings

by XxAnime_FreedomxX



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: M/M, Old Lovers, new relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-18 11:23:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3567869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxAnime_FreedomxX/pseuds/XxAnime_FreedomxX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takano still wants Ritsu to admit he loves him, but Ritsu seems to have found someone else who has a keen eye for him - Kisa. As the two end up in all sorts of trouble when Yukina reappears on the scene, how much is Kisa willing to give up for his own happiness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning Of L.O.V.E.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!" Ritsu yelled at his boss, Takano, after a massive pile of papers had been literally slammed onto his empty desk.  
"Giving you more work since your desk was clear" Takano replied blankly like it was the most obvious thing, well, it was.  
"But my hours have ended now! Can't I just do them at home?"  
"Don't worry Rittie, I've done my lot for now, so I'll help you if you like?" Kisa offered with a smile. The black haired male that Ritsu sat next to and often conversed with was always willing to help him out whenever he had the time. "You can come over to my place if you like?"  
Ritsu could feel Takano staring him down but avoided the glare as he turned to face Kisa. "Thanks, that'd be helpful"  
  
After everything had been packed into their bags, the two co-workers made their way to Kisa's apartment. Kisa unlocked the door and he and Ritsu slipped off their shoes at the entrance before heading along the corridor and into the living space provided. Ritsu dumped the papers onto the coffee table by the couch that had been recently occupied by Kisa and began shifting through the many clipped together wads of paper.  
"What'd he give you anyway?" Kisa asked.  
"They all look like random manuscripts from authors I've never heard of before"  
"He surely doesn't expect you to look through all these by tomorrow does he?"  
Ritsu was about to answer until his phone buzzed. He flipped it open and his brows furrowed together in annoyance, Kisa peeked over his shoulder. "Even with two of us he can't expect it to be done by that time..." Ritsu muttered.  
"What time would that be?"  
"Midnight, tonight...and it's already 7pm"  
"You're kidding right?! How come he's piling all this unannounced work on you anyway?"  
"...Cause he wants me to admit that I love him"  
"And do you?"  
"...It's a long story Kisa, let's just get this done best we can"  
"No, this can wait!" Kisa slapped his hand on the pile with a large grin plastered on his face, brown eyes shining and sparkling with nothing but mischief. "I wanna know what's really going on between you and Takano!"  
Ritsu sighed in defeat and began telling Kisa about what Takano was up to and the reasons why.  
  
When the story and it's various events had finished being told, Kisa just blinked at Ritsu and took his hand off the papers before moving round the table to kneel in front of Ritsu, his upper body pushed forward slightly with a concerning gaze into the other's green eyes. After a few moments, Kisa straightened up and smiled his usual genuine smile.  
"Why don't you stay over tonight? Yukina's decided to stay at his school dorm since he has a load of exams these days, so we thought it'd be easier for him to stay in their dormitory instead of travelling back and forth all the time" he asked.  
Ritsu knew about Yukina and had done for a few months now when he'd seen one of Kisa's emails while passing by behind him in the office. "Sure, thanks a lot Kisa, I'm really trying to avoid Takano as much as possible until I can get my head round what I really feel"  
  
The two men had managed to get the workload done by 11:30pm and were now both exhausted. Ritsu had sent Takano a quick text message to tell him everything was done and would be on his desk by morning, luckily no reply had been received yet. Ritsu and Kisa both switched off their phones for the night not wanting any disturbance and Ritsu made himself comfy on the couch as Kisa dragged himself off the floor to his bedroom. He stopped and turned to look at Ritsu as a thought popped into his head.  
"Hey Rittie?"  
"Uh huh?"  
"D-Do you want to share the bed with me? It'd be much warmer for you than the couch and some random blanket I happened to find...it's fine if you don't want to, I know it sounds sorta awkward..."  
Ritsu sat up, his upper body bare but nicely toned in the darkness. "Sure, if you're sure Yukina won't mind" he replied with a small nod.  
"Yukina won't have to know about it"  
Ritsu smiled and got himself up off the couch and followed Kisa to his room.  
  
They got themselves comfortable in bed, their backs to each other and bid one another good night. Ritsu soon fell fast asleep, exhaustion could be sensed highly in his breathing even as it slowed to a most steady pace. But Kisa turned over and watched his friend sleep, he started taking in every little detail on Ritsu's shoulder blades and the dip in his sides where his hips started. A second or so after Ritsu had turned onto his back, Kisa carefully shuffled closer, his heart pounding as he took in every detail of Ritsu's body he could. He ended up snuggling up to the younger male under his arm, that was spread out, and sighed contently. His fingers on one hand slowly reached out to stroke the soft brown locks of Ritsu's hair, causing the man to murmur slightly in his sleep. Kisa lowered his hand and lifted up to plant a soft kiss on Ritsu's lips before settling back down and going to sleep, his chest slightly pressed against Ritsu's side, his arm round Kisa's waist like they were lovers.  
 _Now that I've seen your body properly in a new light, I can't help but want you for myself even more Rittie. I know I shouldn't since I'd have Yukina and Takano take a good beating to me, but I realise now that what I've felt lately is...Love_.


	2. Making Plans

Ritsu awoke the next morning to find Kisa wrapped tightly in his arms. The green eyed male looked down at the older, yet smaller, of the two and smiled. He'd had a small hunch that Kisa had a crush on him, and had done for some time, but he would never tell the man before him that - Kisa would never forgive himself for making it so obvious. Ritsu lowered his head to rest it on Kisa's as the black haired male snuggled into his chest, palms pressed either side of his neck. He groaned a little when Ritsu shifted away slightly and shuffled closer to the warmth of the other's body. Ritsu softly began stroking his raven hair to a small steady rhythm as Kisa slowly blinked open his eyes. He looked up and quickly backed away when he saw Ritsu was awake before he was. Kisa's brown eyes were wide with fear and a red blush ran deep across his face in embarrassment. His gaze lowered away from Ritsu's and stopped in his lap as he sat up. He turned his head away for good measure that Ritsu wasn't in sight.  
"Kisa..." Ritsu's voice was gentle and his eyes were soft and caring as he lifted Kisa's chin so their eyes met. Kisa's body was trembling all over as if he was waiting for Ritsu to turn and whack him over the head for being such an idiot.  
"I-I'm sorry!" Kisa cried as tears began to roll over the skin down his face. He shut his eyes but flashed them open again when he felt himself being pushed against something. He blinked so his vision was a bit clearer to see his hands pressed against Ritsu's chest, a comforting hand was rubbing his back while another stroked his hair. Kisa curled his hands into small fists before slowly wrapping them round Ritsu's waist and burying his face in the crook of his neck. "I'm sorry..." he breathed gently, his body still trembling.  
"It's alright Shouta, I've...known for some time..."  
Kisa sharply lifted his head at the use of his forename, causing a twinge of pain in the back of his neck. He winced but ignored it at he looked up at his not-so-secret crush. Ritsu's face was genuine, his body was perfectly toned in any light, and that was what Kisa realised he wanted. Of course he still loved Yukina, but whenever he was alone, Ritsu was the one he wanted with him. Ritsu slid his hands down to grip Kisa's waist and pulled him closer before noticing the time.  
"Crap! We're gonna be late if we don't hurry it up!"  
Kisa also looked at the time and his eyes widened at how long they'd been sleeping for. Takano would be leaving for the train soon and they still had to get those random manuscripts on his desk! The two men leapt from their space and did the essentials before grabbing the manuscripts and running as best they could to the station.  
  
Takano glared at Ritsu and Kisa as the two stood panting with their hands on their knees, the papers resting between Takano's hands as he placed them down on his desk. "Fine. Don't take this too lightly as it won't happen again, but you two may do as you wish today. Just be sure to check in with me every now and then so I know you haven't run off into any weird fantasies"  
Ritsu and Kisa looked at one another with grins on their faces, brown and green eyes shining like stars. "We won't Takano sir, thank you!" Ritsu quickly grabbed Kisa's hand and dragged him out of the office block.  
  
Kisa ended up coming to the café where he and Yukina had first kissed. He and Ritsu took a seat by the window at a small table for two. While Kisa was looking at the bustling streets outside, Ritsu slid his hand over Kisa's on the table top and intertwined their fingers. Kisa jumped at the contact and looked at their hands before looking at Ritsu, whose chin was resting in the palm of his free hand. Kisa cursed himself mentally as a red blush ran across his face. "Rittie..."  
Ritsu grinned and motioned to the door once they'd finished their drinks. "Wanna head somewhere else? I mean, if you want me to stay at yours the whole time Yukina's gone then I'll need a few changes of clothes"  
Kisa literally sprung himself on the brown haired man. "I'd love you too!" he laughed afterwards and let Ritsu get up from his seat. The two took their coats and held hands hidden in their pockets as they made their way to Ritsu's apartment.  
  
On the train ride, it was still as crowded as ever, so Ritsu had Kisa sit on his lap, cuddled into his chest, his arms round the smaller one's waist tightly. They both ignored the strange looks they earned themselves from other passengers until Ritsu had had enough and sent a warning growl out to the next person who looked in their direction.  
  
Once they had arrived at Ritsu's apartment and left their shoes at the entrance, Ritsu guided Kisa over to his couch and pulled the raven haired male down onto himself, hands clasped at his waist the whole time. Kisa blushed deeply as Ritsu decided to flip them over.  
"I love you Shouta" he whispered against his co-worker's ear making him shudder.  
"I...I love you too Rittie" Kisa whispered back before Ritsu locked their lips together.  
Kisa wrapped his arms round Ritsu's neck and deepened the kiss while Ritsu lifted his partner up slightly to get a better grip on the gorgeous man beneath him. He fisted a few locks of raven hair as Kisa did with his brown locks and eventually the two broke for air. Kisa could feel their hearts pounding against one another as they just held one another close as possible.  
"I know you have Yukina and would never leave him...but I really love you, Shouta"  
Kisa buried his face in Ritsu's shirt and gripped the material's sleeves tightly. "I really love you too Rittie..."


	3. Attacked!

Ritsu had been staying at Kisa's for two days now and the two had been sharing secret smiles as they worked on their editing in the office beside one another. Kisa would occasionally relook over the manuscripts Ritsu had been told to mark before handing them in to Takano. It was nearing the end of their work hours and Kisa shifted his chair next to Ritsu to wait for him to finish, a small loving smile on his face and a deep motive in his brown eyes behind his black bangs as he watched Ritsu's fingers type away at the laptop in front of him. Ritsu shot Kisa a genuine glance, softening his gaze, before continuing the end of his work.  
"Kisa, if you have enough time to sit around watching others do their work then you might as well go home" Takano commented, slightly annoyed that another man was so close to Ritsu.  
Both men looked over to their boss and Kisa nodded before gathering his stuff up. "See you Rittie" he bid his lover goodbye sadly before walking out.  
  
When Ritsu had finally finished his work, Takano quickly grabbed his hand and bag and dragged him outside, quickly intertwining their fingers as Ritsu struggled to get away from his boss.  
"Let me go! Takano!"  
Takano ignored him, squeezing his hand tighter until they reached an alley. Ritsu was then pushed up against the brick wall and Takano smashed their lips together forcefully. Ritsu pushed his hands on Takano and in the end managed to push them apart. He gave a small growl in annoyance before walking off, but Takano quickly grabbed his sleeve and yanked him back. "Say you love me, Onodera. I want you nowhere near Kisa"  
"Why not?! Kisa's just a friend and a co-worker!" Ritsu spat back in reply.  
"He's much more than that to you though, isn't he?"  
Ritsu stayed silent, if word got out about him and Kisa together then Yukina would be furious when he got back from his exam period. The green eyed man's shoulders slumped and he yanked his arm from Takano's grip. He refused to meet his boss' eyes and was about to sigh when he heard a big commotion from across the street. He ran out of the alley and looked through the traffic across the road to see Kisa being somewhat attacked by three other, much older looking men. They were tugging at his clothing and pulling him in each of their directions. When the traffic died down, Ritsu could hear what they were saying.  
"Aw c'mon little one, you know you want it"  
"No, I don't! I have someone already!"  
"But you're so cute, you look like the type of guy who wants to have whore sex"  
"I don't want anything from you guys! Leave me alone!"  
"Too bad, we're gonna give you a right pounding and then you'll be left in the alleyway without the sense to walk home and clean yourself up"  
Ritsu watched as the men began dragging Kisa away kicking and struggling to get free. Then his brown eyes saw Ritsu. "RITSU!! RITTIE HELP ME!!"  
"SHOUTA!!" Ritsu cried, running out into the road without a care, and almost being hit by two oncoming cars. He was about to go in the direction Kisa had been dragged in when he felt someone grip him round the waist. He looked over his shoulder to find it was Takano. "Takano! What are you doing, we have to help him!" But Takano ignored him. The taller man shifted up the bag he was carrying and whacked Ritsu round the head with it, knocking him unconscious and carrying him onto the train and back to his apartment.


	4. Broken Wings

The next day when Ritsu went to work (unfortunately he had to have the whole journey with Takano), he found that about when they were about 20 minutes into their shift, Kisa hadn't turned up. _Anything could've happened to him_ , he thought shamefully, he regretted not trying harder to get to his lover in time. Once the other workers had left the office for their break, Ritsu turned to Takano with an angry glare. "We should've helped him"  
"Who?"  
"Kisa! He's not here! You saw what happened last night, he could be in serious danger, pain or even dead!"  
"He'll be fine"  
"He's one of the hardest workers here, and you don't care!" Ritsu shut down his laptop, grabbed his bag and coat and packed his stuff up.  
"And where do you think you're going Onodera?"  
"I'm going to find Kisa!" and with that said, he left.  
  
Kisa, meanwhile, was huddled up on the mucky ground of the alley with only his coat for warmth. His face was stained with various tear streaks and his lips were blue from the cold. His eyes were red and his clothes were ripped in various places. But there had been one person on his mind the entire time. "Ritsu..."  
  
Ritsu ran across the road he'd crossed last time just before Takano had dragged him off home and looked around. The streets weren't as empty as they were last night so it was hard to see anything clearly. Ritsu made his way through the crowd but sticking close to the side furthest from the roadside so he wouldn't miss Kisa if he was still about after the attack. He walked past a few alleys but heard nothing until the fourth one along. He stopped when he heard what sounded like his name. Turning his head slightly, he saw a small huddled shape a few feet away. Slowly, he made his way towards the figure, which had it's back to him, and kneeled down quietly, setting his bag beside him. "Kisa...?" he asked slowly as he removed the top of the coat off the figure's head. The figure shot round and true enough, it was Kisa. Blood covered his face mixing with the tear streaks and on the tips of his bangs.  
"Rittie!!" Kisa launched himself at Ritsu and clung to him like a lifeline.  
Ritsu immediately hugged him back just as tightly, running a comforting hand through the man's raven hair. "Thank goodness you're alright, Shouta... I was gonna come find you, honest! But Takano grabbed me and knocked me out before taking me home before I got the chance..."  
Kisa was sobbing on Ritsu's shoulder. "It's o-okay...I still l...love you...Rittie"  
"I love you too Shouta..."  
  
Ritsu carefully picked up Kisa and their bags and carried him to the train station and back home. Right now he wasn't thinking about work like usual. Kisa was all that mattered to him. Kisa had been changed into some clean clothes and the blood had been washed from his face and hair with gentle touches from Ritsu. Now both men were lounging on the couch with the TV as background noise. Kisa snuggled into Ritsu's chest while the younger one rubbed his back to an unheard rhythm.  
"Rittie?"  
"Mhm hm?"  
"...Thank you, for leaving work really early just to come find me"  
"It was nothing Shouta, I love you, it was the only thing I could think about since I woke up this morning. You make me so happy and even though we won't be like this when Yukina comes back, I'll always be in the space beside you at work"  
"Rittie..." Tears filled Kisa's eyes as he closed his eyes and savoured Ritsu's hand movements on his body. One hand stroking his hair and back gently while the other arm was wrapped tightly round his waist. To Kisa, this was his paradise for now.


	5. Tension In The Workplace

"Shouta, are you sure you're okay to go to work today? If you don't want me to leave you then I can just stay home"  
"No I'm fine, I just need to get working again and I'll be fine, I promise"  
"Whatever you say..."  
Kisa was currently dragging Ritsu to Marukawa Publishing instead of the usual steady pace they took. It was strange of the raven haired male to be up and about so early, to get to work so eagerly even though you'd think he'd absolutely _hate_ his job by now. But Ritsu wasn't complaining any time soon. But Kisa seemed...somewhat distracted. It'd been a few weeks since Ritsu had found him in the alley, and slowly Kisa had worked his way to convincing his partner he was feeling good enough to continue work. But the reason Kisa wanted to get to work was because today was the day Yukina was arriving home from his university. Ritsu didn't know, and hadn't seen Kisa give any subtle hints, but that was because he was in love with his senior worker. Deeply. And if Takano didn't know something was up with the two of them by now then he's more stupid than anybody took him for, literally.  
"So, wanna go out somewhere tonight?"  
Ritsu looked at his partner, surprised. "Sure...but where were you thinking of?"  
"No place too special, just that new café that opened up 2 days ago, people have been saying it's really good to taste the cultures from around the world and all that nonsense. If it has great food, then I'm hooked"  
"Straight after work?"  
"You bet! The quicker we get there, the better the food will taste!" It made no sense to him, but Ritsu went along with it anyway.  
  
The two were the first to arrive at their cornered off little work office, and Kisa immediately began working. Ritsu, on the other hand, just stared at his partner with confusion written all over his facial features. Kisa glanced at him from the corner of his eye and stopped typing to look directly at his lover. "What?" he asked innocently.  
"What's going on with you? You've been acting strange since I got up this morning"  
"Nothing's wrong Rittie!" Kisa grinned, hoping the use of his nickname for Ritsu would help. "I'm just feeling really peppy today, that's all. It's nothing to worry about, seriously"  
Ritsu sighed and begun his work, Kisa continuing with his as Takano and Hatori arrived. Takano gave the two a quick gasp, suspiciously patted Kisa on the shoulder making Ritsu pause and the older raven flinch slightly. Hatori just settled down into his work with ease, running errands for Takano for the day since he was second in command within the Emerald Team. Ritsu sighed several times and sent many confused looks to Kisa mixed with ones of irritation towards Takano.  
  
It was about halfway through their shift when Kisa announced he'd completed all his work and had no more to do.  
"Are you sure you're finished?"  
"Positive, Takano, sir!"  
"You're awfully enthusiastic today Kisa..."  
"It's just a good day for me, that's all"  
While the two had a small discussion, Ritsu peeked over at Kisa's calendar and his eyes widened with today's date circled a number of times as in urgency; _12th June_ \- Yukina arrives home from university.  It read. _So that's why he's got all this energy today, Yukina's coming home. Why didn't he tell me?_ Ritsu thought, giving a slight growl as he continued with his workload.  
"Rittie?" No reply. "Rittie?" Still no reply. "Ritsu...?" Kisa sighed, disappointed and confused as to why he was being ignored. "Takano's letting me go home, I'll see you later, alright?" He hugged a stiff Ritsu and planted a soft kiss on his cheek before somewhat excitedly rushing out of the office.  
"Like I give a damn anymore..." Ritsu mumbled to himself. _If he wants Yukina then that's fine. None of this even mattered in the first place then. He was just doing what he used to do and played with me until his real love came home. He was just lonely without having another guy in the same bed as him. I know I can't ignore him forever, he has been my best friend since I started work here, but since he was just playing me all this time I might as well forget everything we ever said and did with each other. Yeah, that'll do it...just forget it all Onodera...just forget it all..._


	6. Yukina, Arguments and Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long to update this, I kinda forgot I had it, lol

"I wonder if Ritsu's okay...he seemed awfully grouchy and annoyed with me when I left. Maybe he's just pissed that Takano's been giving him way too much work again. But then he should just ask for my help, right? I mean, if we're together then surely Im the first person he should talk to about it...about anything for that matter" Kisa monologue to himself quietly as he walked through the streets. Winter was awfully cold this year and Kisa was not subconsciously regretting not bringing a warmer coat.  
"Feeling the cold, are we?" Kisa immediately grinned, he'd recognise that silky voice anywhere. He spun round with a rare beaming smile.  
"Yukina! You're back early"  
Yukina chuckled and hugged the editor tightly. "Miss me then?"  
Kisa nodded but then his thoughts went back to Ritsu. _Oh crap! He saw the calendar didn't he?! No wonder he acted the way he did with me!_ But what to do...what to do...well what could he do? It was either tell Yukina he found someone else and not only lose Yukina (possibly as a friend too) but also lose Ritsu's trust in him. And if he broke up with Ritsu then what if Yukina didn't trust him either? Both options were high chances of a lose-lose situation instead of a win-win one. His mind was going into a panic as he stood away from Yukina, eyes shifting awkwardly. Yukina watched him confused and curiously when Kisa finally looked at him. "Sorry...there's someone I have to see. I'll catch you later Yukina" and with that, he set off running back to the office.  
"Huh? But I just got back!"  
"It's important!" Kisa called over his shoulder.  
  
Okay. So not once. Not twice. Not even three times, Takano had yelled at him today. Well of course he wasn't concentrating properly! With the look on his face right now, what did Takano expect of him, to be a perfect employee for the day?! Ritsu huffed annoyed and curled into himself on his desk. Reuniting with Takano after 10 years had been bad enough but now he'd gone and fallen in love with someone who clearly used him just to wait for someone else. Hatori briefly looked up from his work and shared a small look with Mino before they both glanced at Takano before settling back to work. The tension was thick and heavy in the atmosphere today, even a blind mouse could sense it. Takano stood up to once again yell at Ritsu for slacking off when Kisa appeared round the corner, out of breath from his run. "Kisa? I sent you home, what brought you back, forget something?"  
"I...need to...talk to Ritsu..." he panted. "Please...it's important..." worry lingered in his voice and Takano granted permission, letting him pull his lover to the bathrooms to talk somewhat privately.  
  
"Ritsu...I'm sorry you saw the calendar. I didn't mean for this to become so complicated. I wasn't using you, honest to God I wasn't! I...I'm so scared right now, I don't know what to do"  
"How do you expect me to know? Look, just go with that whole 'listen to your heart' myth thing, maybe that'll work"  
"And what if my heart tells me to go to Yukina? Will you be able to even work here with me like before?"  
"That depends. We'd have to see when we get there"  
"And what if my heart tells me to go to you? Then what?"  
"Then I'd be happy. But who knows how Yukina would react"  
"Well I might as well stay with you since he's bound to find out anyway sooner or later. If I break it off with him then I lose his trust and possibly his friendship altogether. And if I break it off with you then I'll just lose him anyway because he probably won't trust me again when he has to go back to University"  
"And that solves everything, does it? Did you think this through?"  
"Of course I did! How was I to know you'd feel that way about me?! Heck, how was I to know I'd even end up falling for you in the first place?! Sure, I liked Yukina for quite a while, but I didn't try with you at first because through experience I could sense something going on between you and Takano! If there hadn't been then maybe we'd of been together earlier, and Yukina wouldn't have mattered, and then this whole stupid mess would never have happened!"  
"How was I to know Takano would be my boss 10 years after I saw him last? If I'd known it was him who would be my boss then I wouldn't have quit my dad's company. It was the fact that you and the others happened to actually help and be nice to me that I stayed. Besides, if Yukina means so much to you then why did you even tell me how you felt in the first place?"  
"You think I wanted to live for the rest of my life with those feelings kept locked up? I told you because I didn't expect the reaction I got. At first I was just testing you to see what you'd do, but when you told me you liked me back, I couldn't bring myself to turn you away. Some may say I have a cold heart, and maybe I do, but I'm not as cruel as they say I am. You should know that by now"  
There was a long pause of silence between the two of them as they kept their eyes locked; brown against green. Kisa was the first to turn away.  
"Where are you going?" Ritsu grabbed his wrist as he walked past towards the door.  
"Home. And to tell Yukina that I'm ending the relationship before it gets out of hand"  
"And what about us? Are you ending that too?"  
"...No. Unless you want me to"  
"Don't be an idiot" Ritsu pulled him back and wrapped him in a firm hug. "I'm sorry for letting it get to me"  
"I'm the one who should be sorry for letting things carry on as they were this far. I hate fighting with you"  
"I hate fighting with you too..."


End file.
